The Season of Singleness

During your season of singleness, how will you invest in yourself? Many people spend these years observing others and dreaming instead of building themselves up physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This period isn’t a waiting room but a workshop to develop yourself. You can’t show up unfinished, expecting a partner to complete you. You’ll destroy potential relationships if you can’t learn to love and grow independently. Often, older singles seek someone already established to fill their void, while younger ones search for someone to understand and complete them. However, true relationship readiness comes when you stop seeking satisfaction in humans and depend primarily on God. The story of Adam and Eve reminds us that even perfect matches fail when partners depend on each other instead of God. Dive in and discover how to build a strong foundation in your period of singleness that will transform your future relationship.

Focus on yourself

Learn to focus on your personal growth. You are to make sure you are settled physically, mentally, and spiritually before you can figure out another person. By understanding that you’re not ready to care for another person’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs, you’ll be guided away from unnecessary relationships that will lead nowhere. That is a way of protecting yourself.

Lamentations 3:27 says you must bear the yoke of finding yourself in your youth. You can’t burden another person with your unresolved baggage. When you truly know who you are and where you’re going, you’ll also understand what you want in a partner. This is your individual journey of self-discovery. As you uncover your identity, you’ll understand your purpose, and when you eventually join hands with someone, it’ll be to accomplish something meaningful together. So then, your personal growth isn’t just about you. It’s about preparing yourself to be the right partner, not just finding the right partner.

Also, if you focus on yourself and learn to love God while appreciating yourself as His creation, you won’t settle for less than what God has planned. There’s nothing wrong with having standards. You have to ensure they don’t interfere with God’s ultimate plan for your life.

God is the foundation of every relationship.

Now, God must be the foundation of any meaningful relationship. When both partners aren’t spiritually strong, who will support the other during challenging times? When a child is sick, who will pray? When one partner becomes spiritually weak, how can the other help him stand firm? It happens; sometimes, you will be weak because you are human. That is why God Himself said it is not good for man to be alone (see Genesis 2:18). He brings two people together with a higher purpose – to seek Him together.

However, your relationship isn’t just between two people, but three: you, your partner, and Christ. The Bible says God is love (see 1 John 4:8). Who is better to bring you together than Love Himself? So, if the foundation of your relationship isn’t built on love for God, like the house built on sand, it will eventually crumble (see Matthew 7:24-27). Christ Himself will teach you how to love, forgive, be patient, and care for each other, even when times are hard. You won’t face challenges alone but together with someone who equally loves God and follows His commands. So, if the only thing drawing you to your partner is their physical appearance and not the God within them, you don’t truly love that person.

Pray for your spouse.

Finally, until he finds you or you find her, remember to pray for your future spouse. Even when you find a partner, continue praying for the person. Don’t leave your destiny to chance. “Commit your plans to the Lord, and He will establish them” (Proverbs 16:3). Be intentional about praying for your future partner and ask God to teach you and prepare you for the relationship He has planned. Go beyond just praying for your spouse, pray for your future family as well. That is a powerful habit that will keep you focused and protect you from toxic relationships that could destroy you instead of building you up.

In summary, dear one, aren’t you tired of hearing those flimsy reasons for breakups: ‘We are not compatible’ or ‘You are just not the right person for me?’ The truth is your relationship’s success isn’t about finding the perfect person but about becoming the right person. In the season of singleness, you’re not just waiting for love; you’re being built for it—a love built on a shared love for God. So, learn how to pray and fast. When Christ is the foundation, love becomes more than an emotion – it becomes a covenant. Trust God’s timing and let that help you avoid toxic relationships that distract from your personal journey of self-discovery.