byIt’s hard to decipher love nowadays because people don’t even know what it means. They have formulated their own definition to mask their ignorance, but in reality, it is far from what it actually is. Love is not a feeling but an action – just like forgiveness is better understood as an act instead of how you feel. We have created a fantasy of butterflies and emotions and called it love. Being created as eternal souls, we look for lasting bonds but mistake this brief feeling for real commitment. These misconceptions about love greatly contrast with what love is. God is love. When you intentionally take time to know God, you’ll come to understand the actual embodiment of love, and it’ll translate into the way you do things. Read on for your understanding to be reoriented as you discover our misconceptions in opposition to what God created love actually to be.
It’s not about me
When Jesus was about to be killed, He went to the garden of Gethsemane and cried to God, expressing His fear of dying. But He concluded by uttering the words ‘…not my will but your will’ (see Luke 22:42). What was God’s will? That He would die for our sakes. When you really love someone, you can put your needs aside to ensure that person becomes happy. If someone claims to love you but constantly puts you in a position of discomfort, it is time to inquire into the love he claims to have. That goes for all types of love – a mother can sacrifice her comfort to protect her child.
Today, we must expel our misconceptions if we want to have happy lives and families and learn to put the needs and happiness of others first. If we say we love others, we must show it through our actions by putting their needs before our own. That is, however, not at the expense of your well-being when the relationship is one-sided. But when love is genuine and reciprocal, there is no need to suspect or take record because sacrifice becomes a joy rather than a burden.
Divorce is rampant these days because people rely on these fleeting feelings, and when situations are hard, they forget that love is not a way you feel but a choice you make.
You choose to love
Love is not a feeling but an action. The feeling of love is fleeting, such that if you marry a person for their beauty and wit, and later they become deformed or develop dementia, will you still love them? What then is left? Love is choosing a person and saying, ‘I’m going to be devoted to caring about you and making sure everything is well with you, even when situations are not conducive.’ Like forgiveness is a conscious act instead of how you feel, love is not the butterflies in our stomach but the conscious decision to remain steadfast through joy and adversity.
Love is unconditional. That is how Christ was able to love us before we even loved Him – because love persists even in difficult situations.
In your relationships today, do you keep a record of wrongs and fail to forgive? Divorce is rampant these days because people rely on these fleeting feelings, and when situations are hard, they forget that love is not a way you feel but a choice you make. Even in those situations, you still choose to love.
God is love
Coming to the full knowledge of what it means to say God is love is a wonderful thing that will completely transform how you approach issues in life. For instance, when it comes to “eros” love (romantic love), the right person will never appear until you start to take your focus off someone completing you to focus on God completing you. God is love. So when you focus on understanding love itself, you’ll come to know the kind of person God wants for you and how to love that person.
Also, a focus on God leads you to seek Him in others. That will eventually guide you not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. This spiritual focus allows us to recognise and connect with those who share our faith. So, the best kind of relationship forms when two individuals, united by their love for God, embark on a shared spiritual journey. So then, any relationship comprises three people: you, your partner, and God. Who better to bring you together than love Himself? There is no real love in a relationship without Christ. It’ll only be bounded by lust, which expires at a point.
It is love that helps you to forgive, it is love that helps you to persevere, it is love that helps you to be patient, and it is love that allows you to humbly put others first. Today, choose to love differently and in the God way.
