Offences are a part of life. We will all be offended by others at some point, and we will all offend others at some point. It is crucial to know how to handle offences in a biblical way. Jesus provided a formula for handling offences in Matthew 18:15-17. His formula is based on the principles of love, forgiveness, and reconciliation. In this article, we will discuss it and how to apply it in our lives
Step 1 – Talk to the person who upset you
The first step in Jesus’ formula challenges a common belief about conflict resolution: the offended party must take the initiative in seeking a resolution. Contrary to waiting for an apology, Jesus encourages direct communication between the offended and the offender (see Matthew 18:15).
Often, individuals may not be aware of the impact of their actions or may deliberately ignore the consequences. By approaching the situation proactively, the offended party sets the stage for understanding, empathy, and resolution. The psychology of offenders plays a crucial role in this step. Some may not be conscious of the harm they’ve caused, while others may intentionally ignore their wrongdoing.
Sharing illustrative life experiences can emphasise the transformative power of personal initiative in conflict resolution. Real-life examples add depth to the understanding of the impact that taking the first step can have on the offended and the offender.
Step 2 – Get others involved if needed
Building upon the foundation laid in Matthew 18:15, the next step in Jesus’ formula involves seeking the involvement of wise individuals if the initial attempt at resolution proves futile. This strategic move towards reconciliation is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the importance of seeking outside perspectives. The intricacies of convincing others to aid in conflict resolution are worth exploring. This may involve understanding the qualities of effective mediators and the role they play in facilitating understanding between conflicting parties.
Step 3 – Bring the issue to the Church in tougher situations
Jesus also recommended getting the entire church community involved if the first two steps didn’t work (see Matthew 18:17). It may seem daunting, but sorting out problems within the church family is crucial. While speaking to a pastor might feel uneasy, it’s a potent way to seek support and guidance in navigating complex conflicts. Don’t be afraid of the pastor.
Throwing more light on this, the process of involving the church community offers a shared responsibility in resolving issues. It fosters a sense of collective support and reinforces the idea that no one has to face challenges alone.
Furthermore, the discomfort of talking to a pastor is a natural part of seeking help, and it opens the door to valuable insights, spiritual counsel, and a communal approach to problem-solving. Embracing this step not only strengthens the bonds within the church but also creates a space where individuals can find encouragement and practical assistance in times of affliction
Step 4 – If none works, keep your distance
If, despite your best efforts, the person (offender) doesn’t change, Jesus says, treat him as someone outside your faith (see Matthew 18:17). It’s not about being unkind but safeguarding the church, including you. Building on this, taking a step back in this manner is essential to the setting.
